Just in: Gordon Ramsay Throws Whoopi Goldberg Out Of His Restaurant, Bans Her For Life

Gordon Ramsay Whoopi Goldberg Restaurant

In an event that feels like it was torn right out of a crossover episode of ‘Kitchen Nightmares’ and ‘The View’, world-renowned celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay unceremoniously evicted actress and talk-show host Whoopi Goldberg from his latest restaurant venture, Hell’s Pearly Gates. To top off this culinary melodrama, he slapped her with a lifetime ban. Yikes! So, what’s cooking? Hold onto your spatulas folks, as we delve into this sizzling saga.

The incident occurred last Tuesday, during prime dining hours no less. Witnesses report Goldberg arrived with the confidence of someone who’s been to ‘Ghost’ and back, expecting to be treated like the EGOT winner she is. But alas, Chef Ramsay apparently missed that memo. Why? Because he’s Gordon Ramsay, that’s why.

It appears that Goldberg’s culinary crime was the audacious request to have her Beef Wellington – Ramsay’s signature dish – prepared ‘well done’. This innocent suggestion instantly sent Ramsay into a state of kitchen frenzy. It was as if Goldberg had asked Ramsay to substitute lobster for spam in a Lobster Thermidor.

To say that Ramsay’s response was anything less than volcanic would be like saying his Beef Wellington is ‘just okay’. Patrons reportedly froze, forks halfway to their mouths, as the Scottish chef delivered a rant that was more flambe than a Crêpe Suzette. His famous phrase, “It’s raw!” took an ironic twist as he yelled, “It’s not a bloody shoe sole, it’s Beef Wellington!”

Now, if you thought Goldberg would cower, clearly you don’t know Whoopi. She’s been around the Hollywood block enough to stand her ground. Armed with her quick wit, she retorted, “Well, Ramsay, if I wanted to be yelled at while eating, I’d have joined a military mess hall!” The restaurant exploded into a cacophony of oohs and laughter. But Ramsay, not to be outdone, was already reaching for his secret weapon.

And thus, Goldberg was presented with an unprecedented ‘Lifetime Ban’ decree, signed by Ramsay himself. With all the pomp and circumstance of a royal edict, Ramsay declared, “You’re banned for life, Goldberg. You and your overcooked tastes are no longer welcome!” The document, hastily prepared by a sous-chef on a parchment-style kitchen towel, will undoubtedly fetch a pretty penny on eBay someday.

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